I heard we made out
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
