And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
