I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
