OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
