I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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