that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
