my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
