He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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