We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
