Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
