Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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