I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
