Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
