Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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