its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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