you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
