Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Porn is love you can see.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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