Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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