im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
