Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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