:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
