You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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