That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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