Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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