Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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