i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
