Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
