So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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