i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
worst night to have a conscience
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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