its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
