I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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