Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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