No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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