we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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