I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
