Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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