In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
