we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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