i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
