who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The air was thick with penises
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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