That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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