when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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