just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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