did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
