Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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