you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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