I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
