Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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