The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
