He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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