I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
