I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
