I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
